Satan said unto the Lord, “Hey, God. I was wondering…”
God’s attention turned, and Satan continued: “I know that you’re omnipotent, but I was wondering if you could create a world that had some good things in it, but also an overwhelming amount of toil, suffering, and evil.”
The Lord replied, “Yes, I could do that.”
“But could you, really?” asked Satan, stretching out the final word.
“Look, Satan,” said God, “you’ve agreed that I am omnipotent. That word just means all powerful. An omnipotent god can do anything.”
The Lord added, with the clarity and force of proof, “You’ve mentioned a thing to do. I am omnipotent. So I could do it. QED.”
Satan paused for a moment before saying: “Sure, sure. I was just wondering if omnipotence was hype. Honorary omnipotence, if you will.”
“No, I’m really omnipotent,” God said. “I totally could do that.”
“It seems like a tall order, though,” said Satan. “Quite complex.”
“Seriously?!?” sputtered God, his voice summoning up both the emphasis of exclamation and the incredulity of question. “Why would I even want to do that? Does that seem like the sort of thing I would do?”
“No, of course not,” replied Satan. “Let’s say no more about it.”
“Because I totally could do it,” said God.
Satan shrugged. “Look, God. You know I’m not given to calling anyone out. Let’s just drop it.”
“No, I will not drop it,” said God. “Why would I create a world which slowly winds down toward its inevitable death?”
“I don’t know, why does a god do anything? I was just wondering about omnipotence.”
“Because you think I’m not omnipotent,” God said in a tone that made it almost but not quite a question.
“Do you mean literally or just in some metaphorical sense? Because I’ve already said I’m not going to call you out.” Having said that, Satan got up to leave.
“No!” God’s voice thundered through all that was. “Proof of my omnipotence shall be manifest. See, and you shall believe!”
So it was.
The next part begins, “In the beginning…” but you know how that goes.