On the Perfections Attributed to God

by P.D. Magnus

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[the face of God-Man] Scholastic philosophy made an industry of enumerating the perfections of God. Although such work is unlikely to result in an academic appointment in today's atmosphere of secular, naturalistic philosophy, it may be helpful to review the possibilities; perhaps it would allow one to enumerate the perfections that can be attributed to the Brain. What follows is a cursory list of perfections, with interpretive gloss and illustrative examples where appropriate.


omnipotence
the perfection of being all powerful
omniscience
the perfection of being all knowing
omnipresence
the perfection of being everywhere; ubiquity
omnibenevolence
the perfection of being all good; the problem of evil has motivated arguments that an omnipotent God could not possess this perfection
omnidoxence
the perfection of being all believing; this relativized form of omniscience may be used interchangeably with "gullibility"
omniabsence
the perfection of not being anywhere; one of the few perfections an atheist will admit of God
omnimalevolence
the perfection of being all evil; the problem of good has motivated arguments that God could not possess this perfection
omnisyllogence
the perfection of following as a conclusion from oneself as a premise; this appears to be the perfection critical to the success of the ontological argument
omniontologence
the perfection of being all things; observing that omnisyllogence only establishes the de dicto existence of God, some medievals claimed this was the perfection central to the ontological argument; yet, God is not a poached egg, and thus God is not omniontologent
omniomnience
the perfection of being all things to all people
omnicorpulence
the perfection of being every body; although some sources attribute this to God, one imagines that it would require a consensus
omnicrapulence
the perfection of being all messed up
omnihilism
the perfection of not meaning anything; the perfection granted to God upon his death
omnitemperence
the perfection of refraining from everything; renders omnipotence moot