Mike: Oh look, it is the Wise Old Man^© from all the Chick Tracts to laboriously quote the bible and tell us what is what.

Tom: Sort of like a religious Fat Albert?

Mike: Only white.

Crow: And skinny.

Mike: Yeah, and no where near as cool.

Crow: Of course it has to be a man.

Tom: Yeah, did you notice that all of the evil ones were women and the only "good" ones were men?

Mike: Old Jack is having a hard time coming into the 20th century.

Tract: Don't throw them away. Burn them! ...

Tom: Burn the books! Burn the books!

Mike: [In a back-woods accent] Yeah wes Chris'ns don' wan' no books. Thems learnin' is hard.

Tom: Hey, Mike. Can you find the Bible in occult bookstores too?

Crow: And the fake Necronomicon at Waldenbooks?

Tom: [In televangelist voice] And they have bibles in motels and we all know what goes on there!

Mike: Just ask Jessica Hahn.